Recently a routine police patrol car parked outside a local pub late in the evening. The officer noticed a man – Luke Sandery – leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed like an eternity, and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he then fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started his car, switched the wipers on and off even though the stars were shining. He then flicked the indicators on and off, tooted the horn and then switched on the headlights. He moved the vehicle forward a few metres, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left the car park.
Eventually, he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and pulled the man over. He then breathalysed the man. To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man’s intoxication.
The Police officer said, “I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station. This breathalyser equipment appears to be faulty.”
“I doubt it…” said the man, “tonight’s my turn as the designated decoy…”
I saw this on my Facebook wall this morning and was wondering if this is how low the level of English in Facebook has become or is this just sloppy and lazy writing?
A woman went to my movie Director and ask 4 acting chance in the next upcoming movie 4 her n a hero role 4 her hband. Mentioning my name n another actress name without even asking my permission. I only noe her 6 hours during my recent photoshoot 4 a MRS pageant. N jst said hai 2 her…….Nway my kind n generous Director gave her n her hubby a role. She took back 3 booklet of the movie ticket 2 sale……. Aft samtime she cal my Director saying 1 booklet ticket hv been sold n she neds 2 bank in the money n ask 4 his acct no. Money nvr bank in. Wen ask abt the money she said she is facing financial problem n demanded 4 her acting salary payment with NO ACTING EXPERIENCE at al. Claiming tat she is a TV HOST, MODEL n GUD DANCER…hmmmmmm bt no 1 noes her……If u r so famous u don hv 2 go 2 Directors n ask..they wil find 4 u woman……..N now she claims a famous Malaysian actress is her sister -in-law n she is doing Saree Fashion Modellng wt her ….Hw truth it is no 1 noes……She hv been TERMINATED from acting in tat movie. Now dateline was give 2 her 2 return the tickets bck 2 my Director. Failing which a police report will b made against her. Yenna yehlevedah ithe?
It’s good to know that there is justice in the world today.
The big kid pictured above (Jordan), who was trying to kick and stomp his already fallen opponent, was suspended for 25 years from playing rugby. And he had the cheek to say that he expected to be punished but not this harshly. How stupid can one be? First of all, he was not playing. He ran into the field and started kicking and punching. This is not what sports is all about.
I am grateful to see some justice being done so that sports can be a clean game and players would think twice before doing a “Jordan” anymore.
Well done sports Australia.
Who checks a swimming pool for crocodiles?
People who live in Darwin, Western Australia do.
In WA, people are advised to check any pool of water before diving in. No matter how small or large the pool of water is, if there’s water, there’s a croc waiting.
This is what happens at Thailand airports these days to unsuspecting travellers.
I don’t know how this couple left their bags unattended but they were lucky they noticed that their bags were heavier than expected and a closer look at the bags revealed a missing lock and a portion of the bag cut open to dump in some marijuana.
I don’t know how the people who planted the marijuana expected to get their item back. Or maybe this was purposely done because this couple pissed off someone in Phuket.
But whatever the situation is, you never want to be caught in a Thailand jail. Just watch the comedy movie The HangOver Part I and II. There was also another movie where 3 friends were in Thailand having fun and let some drugs behind with another friend, who was caught for not returning a bicycle and then persecuted for having drugs. These 3 films should show you a glimpse of Hell on Earth, if you’re curious about life in Thailand.
In the news, the WA premier, Colin Barnett doesnt understand why the WA Doctors Association is against Curtin University opening up a medical school in Midland.
The Australian Medical Association (AMA) cites the lack of training places for doctors at the local hospitals. This is the “official” response to hide the simple truth of supply and demand – the more doctors you have, the cheaper medical bills becomes. So the AMA is just looking out for itself while patients continue to suffer being charged high medical fees.
Read the full article here: http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/wa/18646437/premier-doctors-disagree-on-medical-school/
Last night, in a desperate need to duplicate a large analysis folder without certain huge files, Windows 7 estimated a copying time of approximately 9 hours to copy everything, I reverted to the good old DOS window to help me with this task.
Out came the command XCOPY.
xcopy <source> <destination> /S EXCLUDE:files.txt
<source> is the directory you want copied.
<destination> is where you want the files to the copied to.
/S will replicate the whole subdirectory structure from your source into your destination.
/EXCLUDE:files.txt files.txt can be the name of any file. I just names it as files.txt. You could name it anything, abc.txt. Anything works.
Inside this file, list the files that you want excluded from the copying. List multiple criteria on its own line.
What this does is that XCOPY will not copy over any files with the .rpt or .ppt extension and also any file with the name production in it.
So an example would be:
xcopy C:\temp\*.* F:\temp\ /S /EXCLUDE:files.txt
would copy all files from C:\temp into F:\temp with the exception of the files listed in files.txt
Please note that to issue this command, you would need to be outside of C:\temp. You cant issue the command inside the directory you want copied because this will result in a cyclic copy, so XCOPY will not let your proceed. Always work outside the directories you want copied.
And now, my earlier 9 hour copying only took 32 minutes.
By Janis Ian
I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth…
And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say “come dance with me”
And murmured vague obscenities
It isn’t all it seems at seventeen…
A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
Said: “Pity please the ones who serve
They only get what they deserve”
The rich relationed hometown queen
Marries into what she needs
With a guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly…
So remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
In debitures of quality and dubious integrity
Their small-town eyes will gape at you
In dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received at seventeen…
To those of us who knew the pain
Of valentines that never came
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball
It was long ago and far away
the world was younger than today
when dreams were all they gave for free
to ugly duckling girls like me…
We all play the game, and when we dare
We cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
That call and say: “Come on, dance with me”
And murmur vague obscenities
At ugly girls like me, at seventeen…
A kid was beaten by his mom.
Dad came home and asked, “What happened son?”
Kid said, “I can’t adjust with your wife anymore, I need my own.”
In an African safari, a lion suddenly bounced on Santa’s wife.
Wife: Shoot him! Shoot him!
Santa: Yes, yes. I’m changing the battery in my camera..
What is the difference between mother and wife?
A – One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.
Husband and wife are like 2 tires of a vehicle.
If one punctures, the vehicle can’t move further.
Moral: Always keep a spare tire….
What’s the similarity between chewing gum and begum (wife) ??
Both are sweet at the beginning and become tasteless, shapeless and sticky in the end..
A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled: “How would you feel if you don’t see me for two days?”
The man couldn’t believe his luck.
He blurted out: ‘That would be great’!
Monday passed and he didn’t see her……
Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday passed too…..
On Friday his swelling became better and now he could see her from the corner of one eye.