Torrential rainstorms were knocking down power lines all over town. That meant, as a customer service rep for the electric company, I was dispatching repairmen right and left. When one lineman called a customer to get her exact address, he was told, “I’m at Post Office Box 99.”
The weary lineman replied, “Ma’am, I’ll be coming to you in a truck, not an envelope.”
Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands.
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings.
People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria.
People with newspaper in their hands look like their heading for the toilet.
Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hour than you do.
Microsoft Word has an autocorrect spelling function.
This function automatically corrects spelling mistakes as you type. The wonderful part of it is that you can add words to the autocorrect dictionary including words that do not exist.
If your co-worker leaves his computer unsecure, you’re home free.
For example, you could set it up so that the boss’s first name, bob, is autocorrected as Boob whenever the person types it.
Or set ‘and’ to autocorrect to ‘ass’.
If you’re good, you can get your co-worker disciplined for sexual harassment plus any number of diversity-related violations.
