Think & Create

by Chris Widener

Now you may ask why I would write an article about developing better relationships. The reason is because I believe that those who are in a relationship will be significantly and directly affected in all areas of their life by how that relationship is going, and how healthy that relationship is.

Research has proven that those who are happy at home are more productive and less stressful at work. Developing a better relationship with your mate can help you develop a better life and a better business! Here are some thoughts to chew on for developing a strong and healthy relationship with your mate.

Listen. Communication is the key to a lasting relationship and listening is the key to communicating. Too often when we are quiet we are not listening, but waiting to speak. Instead of listening to what our mate is saying, and intently trying to understand them, very often we are making mental notes of what we would like to say in response. This is particularly true for us males. We often are trying to find the weakness in our mate’s argument, rather than really listening to the words that they’re saying and the manner in which they’re saying it. Why not take some time this week trying to internalize and understand your mate’s words and feelings?

Schedule a regular time to go out or spend time together. With today’s busy lifestyles, it is too easy to put our relationships on the backburner and take them for granted. While we might have every intention of spending regular time with our mate, we often find ourselves driven by a schedule that has us running in every direction and leaving us little time for our most important relationships. Work gets in the way. The kids get in the way. Our hobbies get in the way. We need to realize the value in the importance of that relationship with our mate and its effect on our total life. Then we need to make spending time with our mate a major priority by scheduling a specific time at least each week to get alone together, talk, and simply renew our relationship. Be sure to set some time aside each week to rediscover each other and enjoy your time together. Pencil it into your schedule and don’t give up that spot. In fact, it is probably best if you and your mate sit down and decide what night will work each and every week, then put it into your daytimer. If someone asks you if you’re available at that time, you tell them you already have an appointment. In the long run, that time that you spend with your mate will help you to become more of a success than you could ever mention.

Consider your mate’s interests more important than your own. When each person has decided to give of themselves to the other, you form a reciprocating relationship of love, concern, and devotion. When you come to a place where you disagree or where the two of you have differing opinions, try to get to the point where you can consider what your mate likes as more important than what you would like to do. The simple decision to do this goes a long way toward developing a healthy relationship!

Learn your mate’s love language. There is a lot of talk recently of love languages. What this is, is that each individual has certain ways they receive love from other people. Some people like to have time spent with them. Others like gifts, small or large. Still others respond best to personal touch. And others appreciate verbal affirmation. Our tendency is to show love the way that we like to receive love, but what will recharge our relationship fastest is to find out what way our mate likes to receive affirmations of our love. The next time you get a chance to speak to your mate, ask which of the above ways they like best to receive your demonstration of love. Then make a conscious effort to begin showing your love in that manner.

Do the small things you did when you first fell in love with your mate. Do remember when you were first in love? Remember the small things you did to show your love? But as time went along, you probably began to get weighed down with simply living life and forgot the small things that made the difference in the beginning. Things like a phone call in the middle of the day just to talk or say “I love you,” an appreciative note, flowers, gifts, and opening doors. Recharge your relationship by consciously going back and doing the small things that you did when your love first began to grow.

Forgive. I’ve done a lot of work with couples having troubles, and one of the most common elements I find that is working against the development of their relationship is that they are holding something against the other and they aren’t willing to forgive. The fact is that your mate is going to fail you from time to time. We need to understand that. What we do when we get to that point however, is what will make all the difference in the world. In a relationship that is going to last, the people involved are committed to forgiving one another. Those whose relationships last longest, and will be the healthiest, are those who are committed to forgiveness.

I hope these thoughts are helpful to you in recharging your love relationship. I truly believe that if we will put these principles into practice we will see our relationships grow in ways they never have before, and that in turn will make our whole life better.

kennethg Life love, marriage, relatiosnhip, success

by Denis Waitley
(Excerpted from The Psychology of Motivation)

What each of us is doing this minute is the most important event in history for us. We have decided to invest our resources in THIS opportunity rather than in any other.

It is helpful to remember this when we consider the passage of time. As the years pass, I am acutely aware that the bird of time is on the wing. At my high school reunion, I saw people who claimed to be my former classmates. We all had big name tags printed in capital letters so we wouldn’t have to squint with our reading glasses on trying to associate the name with each well-traveled face. It was only yesterday that I was really enjoying high school. What had happened to the four decades in between? Where had they flown?

To the side of the bandstand, where the big-band sound of the late 1940s and 50s blared our favorite top-ten hits, there was a poster with a printed verse for all of us to see. I read the words aloud:

“There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

“One of these days is YESTERDAY, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed or erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

“The other day we should not worry about is TOMORROW, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and its poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

“This leaves only one day, TODAY. Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities – Yesterday and Tomorrow – that we break down.

“It is not the experience of Today that drives us mad, it is remorse and bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore… Live this one full TODAY.”

Malcolm Forbes believed the important thing is “never say die until you’re dead,” and he lived that example to the hilt. It is, as we realize when we suddenly attend our high school reunion, a short journey.

But it is difficult to be depressed and active at the same time. So get active! Live TODAY.

kennethg Life live today, productivity

by Jim Rohn

Engaging in genuine discipline requires that you develop the ability to take action. You don’t need to be hasty if it isn’t required, but you don’t want to lose much time, either. Here’s the time to act: when the idea is hot and the emotion is strong.

Let’s say you would like to build your library. If that is a strong desire for you, what you’ve got to do is get the first book. Then get the second book. Take action as soon as possible, before the feeling passes and before the idea dims. If you don’t, here’s what happens:

YOU FALL PREY TO THE LAW OF DIMINISHING INTENT.

We intend to take action when the idea strikes us. We intend to do something when the emotion is high. But if we don’t translate that intention into action fairly soon, the urgency starts to diminish. A month from now, the passion is cold. A year from now, it can’t be found.

So take action. Set up a discipline when the emotions are high and the idea is strong, clear and powerful. If somebody talks about good health and you’re motivated by it, you need to get a book on nutrition. Get the book before the idea passes, before the emotion gets cold. Begin the process. Fall on the floor and do some push-ups. You’ve got to take action; otherwise, the wisdom is wasted. The emotion soon passes unless you apply it to a disciplined activity. Discipline enables you to capture the emotion and the wisdom and translate them into action. The key is to increase your motivation by quickly setting up the disciplines. By doing so, you’ve started a whole-new life process.

Here is the greatest value of discipline: self-worth, also known as self-esteem. Many people who are teaching self-esteem these days don’t connect it to discipline. But once we sense the least lack of discipline within ourselves, it starts to erode our psyche. One of the greatest temptations is to just ease up a little bit. Instead of doing your best, you allow yourself to do just a little less than your best. Sure enough, you’ve started in the slightest way to decrease your sense of self-worth.

There is a problem with even a little bit of neglect. Neglect starts as an infection. If you don’t take care of it, it becomes a disease. And one neglect leads to another. Worst of all, when neglect starts, it diminishes our self-worth.

Once this has happened, how can you regain your self-respect? All you have to do is act now! Start with the smallest discipline that corresponds to your own philosophy. Make the commitment: “I will discipline myself to achieve my goals so that in the years ahead I can celebrate my successes.”

kennethg Life act, decision, procrastinate, self worth

“Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe and enthusiastically act upon must inevitably come to pass.”
—Paul J. Meyer

“In the long run, men hit only what they aim at. Therefore, they had better aim at something high.”
—Henry David Thoreau

“If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you. If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build end up building us.”
—Jim Rohn

“Circumstances may cause interruptions and delays, but never lose sight of your goal. Prepare yourself in every way you can by increasing your knowledge and adding to your experience, so that you can make the most of opportunity when it occurs.”
—Mario Andretti

“The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them. Even the most tedious chore will become endurable as you parade through each day convinced that every task, no matter how menial or boring, brings you closer to fulfilling your dreams.”
—Og Mandino

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by Ron White

“The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.” You have heard it a million times. However, my guess is that you have never heard it from the mouth of the “rich.” Instead, this echo has most likely bounced to your ear, with its origins being an excuse. That’s right: an excuse. Excuses are what many use to pacify their guilt of not accomplishing what they are capable of.

I am not suggesting that wealth is success. My inference is that success is the progressive realization of predetermined worthwhile goals. It may be something as simple as raising a family.

What do these names have in common?
Richard Nixon
Gerald Ford
Jimmy Carter
Ronald Reagan
Bill Clinton

They were all president of the United States, right? They were all the most powerful man in the world at one point. However, I am looking for something else.

Richard Nixon was born in the home his father built. He won an award from Harvard his senior year of high school. However, his family was unable to afford his leaving home for college. He instead attended Whittier College.

Gerald Ford was born as Leslie Lynch King Jr. In 1913, his mother left her abusive husband and took her son to live with her parents. She met Gerald R. Ford, whom she married and gave her child his name, Gerald Rudolph Ford Jr. He was the only president to be adopted. Ford worked in his stepfather’s paint and varnish store growing up. He coached boxing during college to afford his tuition.

Jimmy Carter was the first member of his family ever to go to college and his father was a peanut farmer.

Ronald Reagan was the son of an alcoholic traveling shoe salesman. He worked his way into show business by broadcasting baseball games. At the age of 40, he was divorced and his career was at a dead end.

Bill Clinton was born William Jefferson Blythe IV. His father (a traveling salesmen) died in an automobile accident three months before he was born. His mother married Roger Clinton, and Bill took that name. Clinton grew up in a turbulent family. His stepfather was a gambler and alcoholic who regularly abused his wife and sometimes Clinton’s half brother Roger.

None of these men were born into wealth and prosperity, yet they each achieved the rank of the most powerful person in the world by working hard and not making excuses. These five presidents were born into normal families who struggled. Yet, they refused to use that as an excuse.

Life is too short to make excuses. Set your goals and pursue them. If you have been dealt a “worse” hand than another, it may indeed be a gift that teaches you the value of hard work. Your story will be richer and your success sweeter when you achieve your dreams. Maybe, one day, I will cast a vote for you as president of the United States!

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“Goals are new, forward-moving objectives. They magnetize you towards them.”
—Mark Victor Hansen

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by Les Brown

What will your life be like when you’ve achieved your most deeply held dreams? Let’s take a look at how you can start living your dreams this very day.

Do you have a dream, a vision of the life you wish to live?
How specific is that dream?
How clear is that vision?
How do you intend to reach it?
What obstacles stand in your way?
Are your fears holding you back or are you using them to move you forward?

Your fears can actually lead you to success. Fear is an intense emotion. But that doesn’t mean it has to control you, or even stop you. Fear can prepare you and push you forward just as strongly as it can hold you back. Fear heightens your awareness and increases your physical strength. Fear brings your mind to sharp focus. With all that going for you, does it make sense to just run and hide? Of course not. Fear gets you in shape to take action!

Are you waiting for things to get better before moving ahead? If you’re serious about success, you need to start taking action today. If you’re waiting for things to be perfect, you’ll wait forever and nothing will ever get done.

The way to achieve is to bloom where you’re planted, to do what you can, where you are, with what you have. It’s easy to think up excuses for not taking action. “If only I had more hours in the day. If only I had a better job. If only I could meet the right person.” But excuses won’t bring you anything of value. You’ve got to change your “if only” into an “I will.” “I will make better use of my time. I will work on improving my career. I will create and nurture my relationships.”

Take a chance. Have faith in yourself. Your circumstances will improve when you make the effort to improve them. Start where you are right now. You have everything it takes to reach for whatever you desire. Stop wishing. Use your time, your energy, your thoughts and efforts to make it happen! You’ll be glad you did!

kennethg Life, self improvement, success dream

“Meeting a goal takes dedication, effort and sacrifice, and all that it takes to turn a goal into a dream is TIME.”
—Craig Lock

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by Jim Rohn
(excerpted from his How to Use a Journal audio CD)

If you’re serious about becoming a wealthy, powerful, sophisticated, healthy, influential, cultured and unique individual, keep a journal. Don’t trust your memory. When you listen to something valuable, write it down. When you come across something important, write it down.

I used to take notes on pieces of paper and torn-off corners and backs of old envelopes. I wrote ideas on restaurant placemats. On long sheets, narrow sheets and little sheets and pieces of paper thrown in a drawer. Then I found out that the best way to organize those ideas is to keep a journal. I’ve been keeping these journals since the age of 25. The discipline makes up a valuable part of my learning, and the journals are a valuable part of my library.

I am a buyer of blank books. Kids find it interesting that I would buy a blank book. They say, “Twenty-six dollars for a blank book! Why would you pay that?” The reason I pay 26 dollars is to challenge myself to find something worth 26 dollars to put in there. All my journals are private, but if you ever got a hold of one of them, you wouldn’t have to look very far to discover it is worth more than 26 dollars.

I must admit, if you got a glimpse of my journals, you’d have to say that I am a serious student. I’m not just committed to my craft; I’m committed to life, committed to learning new concepts and skills. I want to see what I can do with seed, soil, sunshine and rain to turn them into the building blocks of a productive life.

Keeping a journal is so important. I call it one of the three treasures to leave behind for the next generation. In fact, future generations will find these three treasures far more valuable than your furniture.

The first treasure is your pictures. Take a lot of pictures. Don’t be lazy in capturing the event. How long does it take to capture the event? A fraction of a second. How long does it take to miss the event? A fraction of a second. So don’t miss the pictures. When you’re gone, they’ll keep the memories alive.

The second treasure is your library. This is the library that taught you, that instructed you, that helped you defend your ideals. It helped you develop a philosophy. It helped you become wealthy, powerful, healthy, sophisticated and unique. It may have helped you conquer some disease. It may have helped you conquer poverty. It may have caused you to walk away from the ghetto. Your library—the books that instructed you, fed your mind and fed your soul—is one of the greatest gifts you can leave behind.

The third treasure is your journals: the ideas that you picked up, the information that you meticulously gathered. But of the three, journal writing is one of the greatest indications that you’re a serious student. Taking pictures, that is pretty easy. Buying a book at a bookstore, that’s pretty easy. It is a little more challenging to be a student of your own life, your own future, your own destiny. Take the time to keep notes and to keep a journal. You’ll be so glad you did. What a treasure to leave behind when you go. What a treasure to enjoy today!

kennethg Life, self improvement, success books, ideas, jim roh, journal, library, success, thoughts

“All things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation of all things. You have to make sure that the blueprint, the first creation, is really what you want, that you’ve thought everything through. Then you put it into bricks and mortar. Each day, you go to the construction shed and pull out the blueprint to get marching orders for the day. You begin with the end in mind.”
—Stephen Covey

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