Think & Create

By PJ McClure

I couldn’t help but listen in. RB, an upperclassman, was reveling in his “accomplishment” over the weekend.

“We found a gate into the pasture and drove out toward where they were sleeping,” he said, lowering his voice. “The first one woke up and ran off, just as we got close. We were trying to be quiet, but it was hard because we were laughing so hard! I think the final count was 15, and I was worn out. Pushing over that many cows is harder than you think!”

That’s right, RB had been cow-tipping. As the son of a dairy farmer, his story was especially interesting to me. That same weekend, I had spent an hour rounding up cows that had escaped through an open gate we never used. My dad called the veterinarian out, because 11 of the cows were obviously hurt and had blood in their milk. Turns out they had broken ribs and had to be removed from production. And for our small operation, those cows represented 14 percent of our producing herd.

More than 20 years later, I’m still blown away when I think about RB and his involvement in this idiotic pastime. How could he have been so shortsighted and selfish? His family owned the most successful dairy operation in the area. As a dairyman, he should have had a greater appreciation for what those big, dumb animals represented… cash and our way of life.

But now, after a decade of studying how people achieve and sustain personal success, I better understand RB’s actions. He lacked two of the critical factors necessary for a successful mindset: gratitude and purpose.

Without gratitude, without an appreciation for what is good and right about our own lives, we are unlikely to be sensitive to how our actions impact others. RB wasn’t grateful for his own lifestyle, so how could he have an appreciation for anyone else’s?

RB found that out the hard way when his family’s multimillion-dollar farm went broke within three years of his taking over. In the aftermath, he realized how self-centered he had been. I know that, because he applied for a job in the business unit I was running at the time. He shared his personal revelation with me and told me that he hoped to make a new start.

After some soul searching, I passed RB and two other candidates on to our company president. RB got the nod. For the next two months, I coached him. And though he was sincere in his attempt to take control of his life, I still needed to continually prod and motivate him to stay on track.

RB’s absence of purpose was just as fundamental to his old mindset as his lack of gratitude. I’m not just talking about some transcendental concept of purpose, but about a practical, down-to-earth purpose. “Why am I doing this and what do I hope to gain?” Answering that question brings focus and meaning to our lives. Without the answer, without a purpose for our actions, good decisions are accidents.

By asking RB some very pointed questions — by digging in with one “Why is that important?” question after another — I finally got him to the core of why he was starting over.

It was an emotional moment. RB actually cried.

The bigger the task or opportunity in front of us, the bigger our purpose for taking it on has to be. RB was uprooting his family, moving to a big city, starting a brand-new career… but hadn’t figured out why.

Before I started coaching him, he assumed he was doing it to make more money. But money, by itself, is never a strong enough motivator. As it turned out, it wasn’t even in RB’s top five of what was really important to him.

With his new found appreciation for life and a supremely powerful purpose for what he was trying to accomplish, RB became my most valuable colleague in less than six months. He made decisions quickly, accurately, and in alignment with what mattered most to the company. Our business unit grew from $600,000 per year to $8,000,000 during his first full year, and he had a big hand in that growth. He took over for me when I left the company, and was eventually recruited by our largest competitor.

At home, he made a similar transition, instilling in his wife and children the same principles I taught him.

One of his children was a 2010 Winter Olympian, and she considers “What my dad taught me about how to think” to be her biggest competitive asset. That makes me proud.

So, what were the keys to RB’s transformation from cow-tipping redneck to poster boy for success?

• A wake-up call. This is usually caused by an event that causes so much pain that you can’t ignore your need for change — but you can generate your own wake-up call with a little personal awareness.
• Gratitude. Being grateful is actually easier when the chips are down. When all of the things we take for granted are disappearing or gone, we give our attention to what is left. The trick is to maintain gratitude for what we have, while we have it.
• Purpose. It seems so fundamental… but how often do we set a goal, take on a task, or engage in an activity without knowing what we want to accomplish? Having purpose is one of the greatest keys to eliminating disappointment and increasing fulfillment in life.
• A mentor. I had the great privilege of being just the right person at just the right time for RB — but there is more at work here than good timing. First make up your mind that you are ready to learn and grow. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
• Never stop learning. Become a lifelong learner. Maintain a healthy sense of humility and fascination with the world. You never know where your next wonderful lesson may come from.

kennethg Life dicipline, gratitude, learning, mentor, need, purpose

(These quotes were taken from Denis Waitley’s Excerpts from The Seeds of Greatness Treasury booklet)

Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You may not get what you want, but in the long run you will get what you expect.

A good life is a collection of happy memories.

The good old days are here and now!

Happiness is the experience of living a life you feel is worthwhile.

To be enthused is to be infused with life!

Accept yourself as you are right now; an imperfect, changing, growing and worthy person.

You are a masterpiece of creation.

Each human being on earth has equal rights to fulfill his or her own potential.

You are an uncut gemstone of priceless value. Cut and polish your potential with knowledge, skills and service and you will be in great demand throughout your life.

View stumbling blocks as stepping stones to the stars.

Optimism creates energy and is contagious.

kennethg Life denis wately, quotes, success

“If you have a good name, if you are more often right than you are wrong, if your children respect you, if your grandchildren are glad to see you, if our friends can count on you and you can count on them in time of trouble, if you can face God and say “I have done my best,” then you are a success.”
Ann Landers

kennethg Quote ann landers

There once was a young boy named Ricky who had a bad temper. His mother gave him a bag of small nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he had to hammer 5 nails into the back of their picket fence in the backyard.

The first day Ricky had to drive 55 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails he had to hammer into the fence gradually dwindled each day. And it wasn’t long before he decided it was easier to hold his temper than to drive all those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when Ricky didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his mother about it and the mother suggested that he now pull out five nails for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

Many days passed before Ricky was able to tell his mother that all the nails were gone. The mother took him by the hand and led him to the fence.

Pointing to it, she said, “You’ve done well, Ricky, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say angry things to someone, they leave a scar in the person just like these holes. And it doesn’t matter how many times you say you’re sorry, the wounds will always be there. Next time you start to get angry at someone, Ricky, remember the holes in the fence.”

kennethg Life

by Denis Waitley

While persistence is the determination to strive to achieve your ultimate goal, there is another virtue of equally great value. Persistence keeps us moving inside ourselves to see the purpose behind the purpose, but patience is the wisdom behind persistence.

Patience cautions us to focus our efforts on what we can change while accepting what we cannot. When external circumstance rains on our parade, patience is our umbrella. Rather than blaming what we cannot control, patience is the wisdom behind persistence.

It is when a goal is distant and difficult to reach that patience is an ally. Time changes everything, but with patience you can keep your desires relatively constant. If you can just hang on long enough, time will finally create the conditions in which you can succeed.

kennethg Life, self improvement denis waitley, dennis waitley, Goal Setting, patience

© Copyright 2009 Melinda Copp

Copyrighting your book is an important step in the process of becoming an author because it helps protect against people taking or using your work without permission. But how do you get a copyright? And when should you file for one? If you’re unsure about how to protect your work, consider the following suggestions.

First, a quick disclaimer: I am not a copyright attorney, and this article should not be taken as legal advice. Please use this only as a guide for where to find more information about how to protect your work. And, keep in mind that this is for authors in the United States. Copyright laws in other countries may be different.

Okay, so here are the most common questions about copyrighting a book.

How do I copyright my book?
The process is actually pretty easy. After your book is published, all you have to do is go to the U.S. Copyright Office web site at www.copyright.gov, download and complete the paperwork, and send it in with your payment and two bound copies of your book. If you like, you can file for your copyright before your book is published, but then after publication, you’ll need to re-file it as a published work.

Do I need to copyright my book before I show it to an agent/editor/writing coach/colleague/teacher?
No. As soon as you write your book, it’s actually copyrighted. You automatically own all the copyrights to everything you write, and if someone tries to take it and claim it as theirs, you can pursue legal action against them and win. Filing an official copyright with the U.S. Copyright Office just gives you added protection in case something should happen.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked a potential client to send me their manuscript and they’ve said, “I haven’t copyrighted it yet-so how do I know you’re not going to steal it?” This is a common concern, but in all the years I’ve worked in the book world, I’ve never heard of anyone having their manuscript stolen by an editor or agent. Ever. Why? Because, like I said, your work is legally copyrighted as soon as you write it.

What about the title-can I copyright that?
Sorry. You can’t copyright a title, which means that anyone can use the exact same title you’ve used for your book. However, you may be able to trademark it. For more information on that, visit www.uspto.gov for the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

How can I copyright my book idea?
You can’t. Copyrights don’t protect ideas, concepts, systems, or methods. If you write a description of your idea, or draw a picture of it, then you can copyright that.

Can I put the copyright symbol on my work, even if I haven’t filed the official paperwork?
Yes, and you should. Use the symbol of the lowercase “C” inside the circle, or just (c), followed by the date the work was created
to show that your work is protected. Protecting your book with a copyright is essential. When you do it is up to you, but you’ll definitely want to file a copyright for your book after publication. It will help protect your work against plagiarism and use without permission. And if you have  additional questions, the U.S. Copyright Office web site or talk to a copyright attorney.

kennethg Tips book, copyright, how to copyright your book

by Edgar Guest

I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day,
I’d rather one should walk with me than merely show the way.
The eye’s a better pupil and more willing than the ear;
Fine counsel is confusing, but example’s always clear;
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live their creeds,
For to see the good in action is what everybody needs.
I can soon learn how to do it if you’ll let me see it done.
I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run.
And the lectures you deliver may be very wise and true;
But I’d rather get my lesson by observing what you do.
For I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give,
But there’s no misunderstanding how you act and how you live.

kennethg Life edgar guest, sermon i see

by Harvey Mackay

Some time ago, the owner of a small but profitable business wrote columnist Ann Landers about his practice of giving annual bonuses to his employees. The amounts were based on time served and salary levels.

He had been doing it for 16 years, and in all that time, only two employees had ever said thank you. Neither was still with the company. One passed away, and the other took early retirement.

The owner vowed that he wasn’t going to give any more bonuses, and if anyone complained, the response would be: “There will be no bonuses this year because not one of our current employees has taken the time and trouble to say thank you.”

In her answer, Ann Landers segued from that letter to the tons of letters she receives from others, parents and grandparents in particular, who wanted to know what to do about gifts that are not acknowledged. What happened? Did the poor thing lose the power of speech or the use of their writing hand? Did they fall off the ends of the earth? Was the gift lost in the mail?

How many times have we sent a birthday check and not heard a word back, the only evidence that the gift was received found among the pile of canceled checks returned from the bank?

How many times have you given a larger than normal tip without any recognition? Waiters and waitresses should realize a larger tip is a signal that a customer enjoyed the experience and wants to return, particularly if their generosity is acknowledged. Diners even have been known to ask for a favorite waitperson’s station.

If you’re a salesperson or own a company and have recently received a larger-than-expected order from a customer, what have you done to make that customer know how you feel about it? It’s great to take your spouse out to dinner to celebrate your great sales ability, but what about the guy or gal who gave you the order?

A thank-you is just good manners. A prompt thank-you is easy to say—a lot easier to say than “Gee, I forgot to tell you how much I appreciated your order” or “How’ve you been after all this time?”

When Rudy Giuliani was mayor of New York City, the police enforced quality-of-life laws, and Giuliani even called for New York City’s cabdrivers and waiters to improve their manners, pointing out that rudeness is not a great civic selling point. It seemed to work. Crime went down. Tourism went up. New York City was on a roll.

Many companies wait until the holidays to say thank you. There’s nothing the matter with that, but why wait? It’s a lot more personal and responsive to seize the day and say the magic words the moment it’s appropriate. And forget the stuff with your corporate logo on it as a thank-you. It’s fine as advertising. For yourself. But it isn’t a gift.

The best gifts I have ever received have no monetary value, but what I call memento value. They are the letters I receive from people who have used tips or advice I’ve given in speeches, columns or books to get jobs, bonuses or unexpected orders. When a 72-year-old woman wrote to thank me for helping her make a dynamic splash in her chosen field, I was on cloud nine for days. And what an upper it was to hear from a man in prison that he’d begun to turn his life around, thanks to the inspiration he’d received from one of my books.

One area of thank you territory that many of us neglect is our formative years. They don’t call them “formative” for nothing. Have you ever said thanks to the teachers and coaches who lifted you up, dusted you off and set you straight when you were trying to figure out what growing up was all about? Though it may have been decades, you would be surprised how many of them remember us and remain our cheerleaders throughout our life. Believe me, a note or even a phone call from you would be well-received.

kennethg Life gratitude

by Chris Widener

Now you may ask why I would write an article about developing better relationships. The reason is because I believe that those who are in a relationship will be significantly and directly affected in all areas of their life by how that relationship is going, and how healthy that relationship is.

Research has proven that those who are happy at home are more productive and less stressful at work. Developing a better relationship with your mate can help you develop a better life and a better business! Here are some thoughts to chew on for developing a strong and healthy relationship with your mate.

Listen. Communication is the key to a lasting relationship and listening is the key to communicating. Too often when we are quiet we are not listening, but waiting to speak. Instead of listening to what our mate is saying, and intently trying to understand them, very often we are making mental notes of what we would like to say in response. This is particularly true for us males. We often are trying to find the weakness in our mate’s argument, rather than really listening to the words that they’re saying and the manner in which they’re saying it. Why not take some time this week trying to internalize and understand your mate’s words and feelings?

Schedule a regular time to go out or spend time together. With today’s busy lifestyles, it is too easy to put our relationships on the backburner and take them for granted. While we might have every intention of spending regular time with our mate, we often find ourselves driven by a schedule that has us running in every direction and leaving us little time for our most important relationships. Work gets in the way. The kids get in the way. Our hobbies get in the way. We need to realize the value in the importance of that relationship with our mate and its effect on our total life. Then we need to make spending time with our mate a major priority by scheduling a specific time at least each week to get alone together, talk, and simply renew our relationship. Be sure to set some time aside each week to rediscover each other and enjoy your time together. Pencil it into your schedule and don’t give up that spot. In fact, it is probably best if you and your mate sit down and decide what night will work each and every week, then put it into your daytimer. If someone asks you if you’re available at that time, you tell them you already have an appointment. In the long run, that time that you spend with your mate will help you to become more of a success than you could ever mention.

Consider your mate’s interests more important than your own. When each person has decided to give of themselves to the other, you form a reciprocating relationship of love, concern, and devotion. When you come to a place where you disagree or where the two of you have differing opinions, try to get to the point where you can consider what your mate likes as more important than what you would like to do. The simple decision to do this goes a long way toward developing a healthy relationship!

Learn your mate’s love language. There is a lot of talk recently of love languages. What this is, is that each individual has certain ways they receive love from other people. Some people like to have time spent with them. Others like gifts, small or large. Still others respond best to personal touch. And others appreciate verbal affirmation. Our tendency is to show love the way that we like to receive love, but what will recharge our relationship fastest is to find out what way our mate likes to receive affirmations of our love. The next time you get a chance to speak to your mate, ask which of the above ways they like best to receive your demonstration of love. Then make a conscious effort to begin showing your love in that manner.

Do the small things you did when you first fell in love with your mate. Do remember when you were first in love? Remember the small things you did to show your love? But as time went along, you probably began to get weighed down with simply living life and forgot the small things that made the difference in the beginning. Things like a phone call in the middle of the day just to talk or say “I love you,” an appreciative note, flowers, gifts, and opening doors. Recharge your relationship by consciously going back and doing the small things that you did when your love first began to grow.

Forgive. I’ve done a lot of work with couples having troubles, and one of the most common elements I find that is working against the development of their relationship is that they are holding something against the other and they aren’t willing to forgive. The fact is that your mate is going to fail you from time to time. We need to understand that. What we do when we get to that point however, is what will make all the difference in the world. In a relationship that is going to last, the people involved are committed to forgiving one another. Those whose relationships last longest, and will be the healthiest, are those who are committed to forgiveness.

I hope these thoughts are helpful to you in recharging your love relationship. I truly believe that if we will put these principles into practice we will see our relationships grow in ways they never have before, and that in turn will make our whole life better.

kennethg Life love, marriage, relatiosnhip, success

by Denis Waitley
(Excerpted from The Psychology of Motivation)

What each of us is doing this minute is the most important event in history for us. We have decided to invest our resources in THIS opportunity rather than in any other.

It is helpful to remember this when we consider the passage of time. As the years pass, I am acutely aware that the bird of time is on the wing. At my high school reunion, I saw people who claimed to be my former classmates. We all had big name tags printed in capital letters so we wouldn’t have to squint with our reading glasses on trying to associate the name with each well-traveled face. It was only yesterday that I was really enjoying high school. What had happened to the four decades in between? Where had they flown?

To the side of the bandstand, where the big-band sound of the late 1940s and 50s blared our favorite top-ten hits, there was a poster with a printed verse for all of us to see. I read the words aloud:

“There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

“One of these days is YESTERDAY, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed or erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

“The other day we should not worry about is TOMORROW, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and its poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

“This leaves only one day, TODAY. Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities – Yesterday and Tomorrow – that we break down.

“It is not the experience of Today that drives us mad, it is remorse and bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore… Live this one full TODAY.”

Malcolm Forbes believed the important thing is “never say die until you’re dead,” and he lived that example to the hilt. It is, as we realize when we suddenly attend our high school reunion, a short journey.

But it is difficult to be depressed and active at the same time. So get active! Live TODAY.

kennethg Life live today, productivity