IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES
Company Policy: Effective from April 2006
Dress Code
* It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
* If you dress poorly, you […]
Archive for the 'joke' Category
Rajesh and Sharmila were flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.
Luckily, I see an uncharted island below […]
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, ‘What […]
Signboard Outside A Prostitute’s House:
Married MEN Not Allowed.
We Serve The Needy, Not The Greedy…
~~~~~~
Written On The T-Shirt Of A Girl:
SITUATORY WARNING:
Objects Inside The T-Shirt Are Larger Than They Appear From Outside.
~~~~~~
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask […]
Signboard Outside A Prostitute’s House:
Married MEN Not Allowed.
We Serve The Needy, Not The Greedy…
~~~~~~
Written On The T-Shirt Of A Girl:
SITUATORY WARNING:
Objects Inside The T-Shirt Are Larger Than They Appear From Outside.
~~~~~~
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask […]
English Signboards around the world
In a Bangkok temple: “IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.”
Cocktail lounge, Norway: “LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.”
Doctors office, Rome: “SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.”
Dry cleaners, Bangkok: “DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.”
In a Nairobi […]
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force […]
God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project.
- Anonymous
THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes […]
THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes […]
An older lady gets pulled over by a police officer for speeding…
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: […]
A little humour into how Asians take their photographs….
http://www.kgomez.com/mystery/asians_taking_picture.php
A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided […]
Two fleas had an arrangement to meet every winter in Miami for a vacation.
One year, one of the flea’s arrived in Miami and was shivering and shaking…
The other flea asks him “Why are you shaking so badly?”
The first flea says…”I rode down here from New Jersey in the moustache of a guy on a Harley.”
The […]
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile….Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check […]
The doctor said, “Fred, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one heck of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to […]
Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other […]
Some humor…
Here’s some sexy wood furniture….
Sexy Wood
Yup, it seems that everyone transports their goods without the need of a truck or car…
Moving in Vietnam
